Dating anxiety is real, and while nerd dating sites have made it easier for people to find their ideal match, they offer no help to make that dreaded first date go smoothly. You cannot seem to control your nerves while wandering into the unknown.
It feels as if your head is going to explore while imagining every possibility of things going sideways. Even if you ask a real player, they will tell you they have had their share of amazing as well as cringe-worthy dates. Here are a few tips to help you keep things under control.
Come Prepared for the Big Day
If you have found your partner online, you will be meeting in person for the very first time. Ideally, you should meet at a park or pick something lighthearted. Avoid making it a dinner date or go out for a movie night because you will be stuck for hours if you notice no connection between you and your date.
Check out their profile on dating sites or visit their Facebook page to gather more details about them. No, this does not make you a stalker but helps you come prepared. Pay attention to what you wear, and remember it is better to be a bit too formal than a bit underdressed.
Ensure you do not end up being on the slob side of things, and you would not get anywhere with those flip-flops and nerdy t-shirt. The truth is that you should come with a solid outward personality if you consider yourself a nerd inside.
Know How to Pick the Right Topic
Again, getting more information about your partner will help you pick a good topic to strike up a good conversation. Their social media accounts and dating profiles will come in handy. You may also want to share something about yourself, but understand the difference between bragging and sharing what you like or dislike.
Be interesting but avoid telling lies just to sound cooler. Learn to present you and your story in the best light to make everything a tad more interesting. For nerds and introverts, it helps to memorize some cool, fun questions. Work on finding questions that deserve some explanation.
Asking questions that can be answered in a simple “Yes” or “No” would not help. After all, you are not conducting a job interview, are you? Remember, you should also avoid venturing into certain questions and topics, like abortion, religion, and political questions.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
It is natural to feel a bit nervous when on your first date, but you should calm your nerves and ensure you do not end up making “unintentional” mistakes that spoil the scene for you. Checking your phone every few minutes may help you deal with your nervousness, but it sends a bad signal to your partner.
It shows you are not present in the conversation, which is disappointing and even disrespectful. Here are some other common mistakes to avoid:
- Avoid dwelling on anxiety. So many times, you freak out and twist yourself into knots over something that does not deserve that much attention. Do not take it on and try positive affirmations, mantras, and compassionate self-talk to get rid of those pesky anxiety-ridden thoughts that creep in at the most undesirable moments.
- Do not drink too much before or during the meeting. It may be a good idea to treat yourself to a glass of wine. It will help you feel better but do not go overboard because there will be drinks on your date too. Similarly, you should never get blasted while sitting in front of your partner. It is not a “drinking contest,” and you should know it well.
- Asking questions is important to start a conversation but do not delve into unnecessary details. No one is interested in your medical history, so why talk about your colonoscopy on your first date. Avoid it unless you show up with your hand in a cast and there is a good story to go with it.
- Do not talk about your ex because soliloquies about your ex-partner would not make your date night any better. It only sends the signal that you have not managed to move on, which is a huge turn-off for your new dating partner.
Just avoid all these mistakes and work on keeping your nerves under control to ensure your first date leads to second, third, and so on.